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I wish I was a terrorist

by Restless Knights

/
1.
The tradeoff 02:24
Insomnia - my eyes can’t seem to shut. Anxiety - my mind can’t seem to rest. What is keeping me awake? What is it that’s disturbing me? What’s keeping me awake? What’s disturbing me? You tell me to turn over. Tell me to sleep tight. But I’m so sorry I twist my sheets at night. Paranoia is haunting me all night. Insanity is creeping up really tight. Twisting in my own cold sweat trying to get some rest. Twisting in my own cold sweat. Try to finally get some rest. You tell me to turn over. Tell me to sleep tight. But I’m so sorry I twist my sheets at night. Still no rest for the wicked ones. Is it that I don’t want to work, while other people slave? Is it that I’ve been feasting, while other people starve? Is it that I have turned my back on all your gods and masters? Are these my crimes? Is this my punishment? You tell me to turn over. Tell me to sleep tight. But I’m so sorry I twist my sheets at night. Still no rest for the wicked ones.
2.
I’m all lost down on the avenue. Turn my coins. I know my rent is due. Pink shirt brats hang out down at the bar. Others pass in their expensive cars. And I don’t know where to go. I won’t buy what they sell. Pre-fabricated lifestyles. Pre-fabricated ideals. Consumerist culture, everything is for sale. And I am trapped inside this shopping hell. Lifestyle magazine. Let’s all buy the dream. No need to think when you are buying the easy way of life. Punk, brat or the average Joe/Jane I’m sure some store has got the concept for you. But I don’t know where to go. I won’t buy what they sell. Pre-fabricated lifestyles. Pre-fabricated ideals. Consumerist culture, everything is for sale. And I am trapped inside this shopping hell.
3.
You can beat me black and blue. You can try hard persuasion too You can go with all your stupid rhetoric. You can try with other fucking mind tricks. But, I won’t play your game. No I won’t play for your team. I make up my own rules. I let you all be the fools. I won’t fly no flags or banners. I won’t try and mind my manners. I won’t give in for the right wing. I won’t believe in godly things. No, I won’t play your game. No I won’t play for your team. I make up my own rules. I let you all be the fools.
4.
Someone told me I was born to run. And I’ve been running for as fast as I can. Never had nowhere to go. Where I was running I just didn’t know. I think I just wanted to get away. Trying so hard to outrun myself. Outrun the darkness that’s been haunting me. But you brought the light, so now I see. I know I have said I’d never write a love song. But by your side I feel right at home. At our door no anxiety won’t knock. I’ve got no stress chasing me. I haven’t got nowhere else to go. In our house I feel right at home. Found a new direction in life. I’m homeward bound. Found a new direction in life. Finally found a home.
5.
Another beer, another bottle of wine, sitting here just wasting my time. Another town, another show, another place, where I don’t know. Another party, another feast, trying to kill my inner beast. Trying to recall what drove me in to this, maybe somewhere there was an option that I missed. Another fix, another handful of pills. Restless minds who search for cheap thrills. Another TV-show, another mindless game. Anything to kill the pain. Another crossroad, another choice to take. Another try to clear up past mistakes. Trying to recall what drove me in to this, maybe somewhere there was an option that I missed. Wasted time. Wasted days and wasted nights. These days I try to see things clearer. This time maybe I can kill it. Escapism can’t take me now.
6.
Fifthteen or something when punk took my heart, since then I’ve been playing my part. It can’t just be for the young chosen few. Without this shit I wouldn’t know what to do. I’m not too old. I’m thirty something but still young at heart and in this scene I still play my part. Old friends have been drifting away, but on this stage here I want to stay. I’m not too old. I’m still as angry as I ever was. Back then I didn’t give a toss. I was angry at the whole wide world. Now I direct my anger, trying to get my voice heard. I’m not too old.

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Recorded in Gothenburg by Linus Andersson 2008. Mixed by Linus Andersson. Mastered by Shape-Up mastering.

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released September 20, 2009

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